He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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