between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It was confusing and full of hummus
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
