Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
