Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
