actually, I'm a sock model
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Randomize
