Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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