Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
