i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
