The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
