did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
