dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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