Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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