So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
