Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
