Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize