Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
