Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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