Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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