his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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