i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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