Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We had to coat check the pizza.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
