"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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