Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
