i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
