okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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