i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
