Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
