community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
