I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
