Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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