May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
