If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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