How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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