Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
