No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
