Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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