You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
