Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
