i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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