Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
