Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
