I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I am midnight drunk by noon
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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