Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
