Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
