I just saw a hot homeless man
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
