no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
