I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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