I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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