i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
