if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
